My first blog

Hello, welcome to chasing starlight's blog!




To begin the proceedings, a story of sorrow, love, happiness and tragedy....

Once upon a time there was a snail called Henry. Henry was a sad snail. The reason he was sad was because he was fed up having to carry his house with him everywhere he went. Poor Henry had a terrible ache in his back and he reckoned he was the only snail ever to have scoliosis (given that he had no bones!). One day, Henry was sliding along, inch by inch, in a rather sullen manner, as depressed snails do, when he came across the most remarkable sight...

He had chanced upon a little shop down a small alley in the village next door. The shop was remarkable because it contained the most revolutionary new snail houses made from many different materials. There were wooden ones for the naturalists, tin ones for the wizard of oz fans, even kevlar ones for the special branch police snails! It was a mighty sight to behold. Henry couldn't believe his eyes! Just then, he noticed something tucked away in a dusty corner of the shop.

Henry read the sign in the corner and the biggest smile his little snail mouth had never before made erupted on his face.


The sign that made Henry the snail smile the biggest smile ever said:

"Orthopedic Snail Shells - Light Weight, Comfortable and Proven to Cure Scoliosis (especially for those who have no bones)"

Henry turned to the shopkeeper and asked him what price he had to pay for one of these orthopedic shells. The answer was not quite what Henry had expected. In fact, when he heard the answer he nearly toppled over backwards!
The answer to Henry's question was, quite simply, "forty-two"

"forty-two what?!" exclaimed Henry.
"The answer to your oh so excellent question, my dear fellow, is fort-two."
So Henry handed over forty-two somethings and this seemed to satisfy the shopkeeper enough. Henry tried on his brand new, revolutionary, orthopedic shell and was ecstatically happy!
Henry went back into the town sporting his new shell and holding his little snail head high with his new found confidence (and because it no longer hurt him to do so). He could even gather enough energy to go out to the pub, as he didn't spen all his time complaining any more.
There he met a lovely snail called Barbara. They fell in love instantly and were very happy together until...

Until Henry told Barbara about his chronic back condition. At first Barbara was shocked that Henry could keep such a huge secret from her. She said she didn't know if she could live with a snail who had a crooked spine (although he had no bones). So, trying to keep the relationship from falling apart, Henry decided to take Barbara to the little shop down the small alley in the village next door. He wanted to show her the wonderful sights there.
As they slid along towards the little shop, Henry thought about how happy he had been when he discovered this little shop and he hoped Barbara would feel the same.vWhen they got there Barbara's eyes shone with excitement. She had never seen such an array of colours and shapes and sizes! Just then, something extraordinary happened...

Henry, getting down on one knee (if he had knees) took Barbara's hand (if she had hands) and said the five words she had been longing to hear all her snail life...

He said, "Barbara, you're on my foot!" (if he had feet)

Actually he said, "Barbara, will you marry me?" to which she replied...

"Oh yes dear Henry! Because I love you! And I love your crooked back! And I love that you brought me to this little shop out here!"

And so they lived happily ever after, to the end of their days. (Which was actually the following Tuesday, when they were unexpectedly trampled on my a careless human, while on their way to the shops)

THE END